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Dr. Karen Eng

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enlighten, Uncategorized · December 6, 2023

Navigating Friendships Through Divorce: True Bonds vs. Alleged Alliances

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Divorce is a challenging chapter in life, and during such times, the true colors of friendships begin to shine. As I embarked on this journey, the distinction between genuine, supportive friends and those who turned a blind eye became evident.

True Friends: A Pillar of Support

In the midst of the storm, a handful of friends emerged as unwavering pillars of support. These true friends didn’t pass judgments; instead, they offered a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. They understood that divorce is a complex and personal journey, and their presence spoke volumes. Whether it was a late-night phone call or a simple message of encouragement, these friends proved that empathy is the foundation of a genuine connection.

Non-Judgmental Understanding

What set these friends apart was their ability to provide a safe space without judgment. They didn’t pry into the details or offer unsolicited advice but rather allowed me to share my feelings at my own pace. In their company, vulnerability felt like a strength, not a weakness. These friends demonstrated that true companionship transcends circumstances and flourishes in the garden of empathy.

Alleged Friends: The Echoes of Silence

On the flip side, some alleged friends chose to distance themselves during this challenging period. The once vibrant social circle seemed to shrink as the divorce unfolded. The silence of these alleged friends was deafening, leaving me to wonder if they were truly there for the good times or merely fair-weather companions.

The Sting of Abandonment

The pain of feeling ignored by alleged friends was an unexpected sting. While it’s natural for relationships to evolve, the sudden absence of those I considered close friends made the divorce journey lonelier. Their silence spoke louder than any words could, leaving me grappling with the realization that not everyone can weather the storms of life together.  When I reached out, I heard comments such as “I didn’t want to pry” or “I wanted to respect your privacy”. The non-communication was not what I needed nor was that in any way supportive.

I was hopeful that my ex & I could co-exist and our “friends” would not feel  pressured to take sides.  It has become evident that these people are more concerned about their image and the potential impact of their brand than being a true friend.

Lessons Learned: Quality over Quantity

As I reflect on this tumultuous period, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of quality over quantity in friendships. True friends are the ones who stand by your side when the path gets tough, offering their unwavering support. While the loss of alleged friendships was disheartening, it allowed me to focus on nurturing the connections that truly matter.

Conclusion: The Silver Lining of Friendship

Divorce is undoubtedly a challenging chapter, but it also serves as a litmus test for friendships. True friends shine brightly in the darkest moments, providing a silver lining that makes the journey a bit more bearable. As I move forward, I cherish the bonds that weathered the storm, knowing that genuine connections are the anchors that keep us grounded.

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